"There isn't the ghost of a chance that we can remain long our own mistresses. Why don't we be prepared for the end of our journey once we lose our birthday."
It was just those days when the dust storm so typical of Peiping in spring was sweeping the red-wailed and golden roofed ancient city. The air visibly saturated with the fine particles smelled of earth; and everything was screened behind a dusty veil. In the same dusty frame of mind was Mr. Lee seated musing or rather anxiously awaiting the appointed visit of the "Chu* People's Government" representative of Tung Ssu Erh Tiao wherein she resided.
The call of the "People's" official could not be very welcome to the young housewife for her attractive countenance was obviously distorted by the knitted brows above a pair of unusually large but diluted eyes. The date of expiry was fast approaching for her household to contribute the share of work for the levelling down of the muddy road prior to the macadamization of the road leading to an important military headquarters in the vicinity of her house. She had to decide the question whether she herself should join the gang to level that section of the road alloted to her household or she should hire some one to fulfill the turn.
The reason for the "Government" to insist on the road work was obvious and it was equally obvious that the authorities allowed her to pay for the hire. The job was a heavy one. Neither she herself nor her husband, the only other member of the household, could handle the job satisfactorily. She could not afford the physical strength, nor could her husband the time. But the hire was beyond the pecuniary means of the Lees to pay.
Nobody, however, would feel convinced, especially the "Chu" representative, that the owners, of such a well-appointed house and the neatly trimmed courtyard should plead for the shortage of money just to pay for a small hire of this kind But the house was the only legacy, besides the surgical training of the P. U. M. C. ** her husband received from his scholar father who had passed a way not long ago. Two years of hard work just enabled him to stand on his feet and another two made it possible to get married. No sooner had they been wedded than they decided that the addition of a younger member to their family would just have to wait only until the household finance had been improved appreciably.
In any case Dr. Lee has already had many to look after for he treated all his patients like his own children. Their anxious moments have always been his. From the minute he perspired under the blazing flourescent light in the operation theatre to the moment they were sent home after recuperation, he devoted all his time, mind and surgical skill to them. But after the "Liberation" he was compelled to attend the indoctrination class which was followed by lengthy study and heated discussion. By the time he returned home, he was no more than a wreck. Mrs. Lee could not but keep silence, much as she longed to exchange news with him; for throughout the whole day she did all the chores cooking, washing and hundreds of the unnamed household duties she had to do as it was out of the question for her household to employ any servant. Her husband's pay would never have carried them through, had it not been for her success achieved by trial and error in learning to economize, improvise and simplify all the household affairs.
It must be only after a long while when she sensed that her husband had begun to adjust himself to the tempo of his home life that she grew gradually communicative. She often thought that he could not carryon like this any longer. But he must work and study for the sake of the people, the "People's Government" stressed. He used to be very cheerful believing that nothing could be more satisfying than restore an impaired life to health, particularly those who had almost been abandoned as hopeless cases. But ever since the "Liberation," he has not been free from some haunted thoughts. He confided one day to his wife that he was ordered to give up some serious cases. "Leave the weak and the aged alone, look after the young and healthy." In fact, medical students have been made to shorten their period of study from seven to at most three years, for it is now believed that China requires more doctors to treat ordinary cases than specialists. They should be only competent enough to prevent the healthy from contracting illness rather than do their best to cure the sick.
After all, only the strong can serve the "State", which, therefore, has no obligation to protect the weak, the ruling class declared. Medical students would waste their time, the Communists argued, if they should devote too much of theirs to specializing themselves in any particular line. China has no time to squander, the new rulers emphasized. Mrs. Lee was certainly shocked by this theory; but she was more shocked by the loud knock at the door. She knew the "Chu" representative had finally come for her decision. Without knowing what she was saying to him, she told him pointblank that the household could not afford the hire and she would do the job herself. To her utter surprise he left her without repeating all the harangues he used to give her during other visits. He did nothing but throw a suspicious glance at her, apparently wondering if in her answer she was serious.
She was, for early in the morning she appear ed at the head of the assembling line of a motley of coolies, holding a spade and standing nonchalantly against the dust-laden winds lashing past. Her presence was particularly conspicuous, for dressed in a silk-padded gown of bright red hue, she stood there against the grey conglomeration of nondescript men, her shapely legs sheathed in nylon stockings and her slender feet encased in a pair of high-heeled kid shoes. Charged with deliberately making herself an object of distraction while constructive work of urgent necessity was to be achieved and further accused of violating the rule of austerity, she retorted that she was not to blame for wearing no working suit she was not in possession of. She explained that it was wasteful and against the "Government" ruling not to make use of some of the old dress but to have a new one made for any particular purpose such as she was now engaged in. Besides, she had no means to make any new dress how ever cheap its cost might be. As to the bright red colour, she said that it suited the great occasion--- the first time she had ever had the opportunity of doing a laborer's work. Her nylon stocking were badly worn out and worthless. Referring to her odd foot-wear, she contended that she put on the high-heeled shoes for no other reason than make them serve some useful purpose.
Though calmed down by her impassioned talk, the local official was dissatisfied with her work. She did not know how to handle the spade nor had she any efficiency. In answer to this remark, she reminded him that she was just "learning" the spirit of which the new regime has been instilling into the minds of all. He almost gave her up altogether and left her at that, for he ordered her to go home in order that she might not contaminate the working atmosphere and the morale of the workers. However, she refused to obey, intimating that she had found that some physical exertion was the best escape from her mental distress. She went on hopping up and down the road without realizing what a joke she created then and there, jogging along in that outfit of hers with a spade welded like a long trapped hand-bag. Fortunately, other co-workers were too much engrossed in their arduous tasks to bother about this woman they considered almost insane. Life was indeed too hard for anyone to think of other's lot.
On her return after a solid day's labour, she inavoidably felt ill. Once she was home her mind was troubled all of a sudden by her husband's latest intimation: "Only the young and fit deserve medical attention". Why, neither she herself nor her husband is far from old. But at such a physical speed and such a mental strain, she wondered how long they could keep themselves young and fit. In fact, she needed medical attention right then. While she went to a couch lying down, she asked herself, "Do I deserve any medical attention?" At least her husband would give it to her. But it was only seven o'clock and his return could not be expected until, at the earliest, three hours later. He had barely finished his hospital duty and had to go through three hours of "learning and examination."
She was much too exhausted to venture preparing for dinner for two. In any case there was not much to prepare and she was then not interested so much in food as in rest. As soon as she lay herself on the couch, she relapsed into a deep thinking. Her husband looked particularly thin and old whenever he appeared across the threshold. He was only thirty two, in the prime of his life. But who knows but that he would one day break down, so over worked as he was. Then he would given up as a pair or worn-out shoes. While she was kicking off her high-heeled shoes she felt dizzy. The dark shadow of death unexpectedly appeared looming large just in front of her.
Her thought was directed to the recess of her mind, longing for the potion her husband once brought home from his hospital and remembering he said that they could swallow it for a quick and painless death, should they be no master or mistress of their own. But they were young, she reflected grudgingly. Life was yet to begin for them. Besides, who could say that they were no longer their own master or mistress? But why was it that one day Elsie her cousin, begged to have some share of the deadly potion when she unwittingly revealed of her secret possession? Elsie had her good days in the States with her husband studying, working and travelling together all the world over, and above all they were still far better off. She did not, however, seem to mind taking some of the potion and in fact she was eager to have it for she said breezily: "There isn't the ghost of a chance that we can remain long our own mistresses. Why don't we be prepared for the end of our journey once we lose our birthright." Nevertheless, Elsie and her husband had had their good time. Dr. Lee and herself had none, she thought. If they had any happiness, it could be only their sticking together without any separation for a day since their wedding. But she did not know just at that moment her husband was made to volunteer his service by joining up the medical corp to leave early the following morning for the Yalu River front.
*Chu is a subsidiary administrative office
**The Peking Union Medical College, Peiping, well known throughout the Far East as one of the best and well equipped college of its kind with a more famous hospital attached to the college. It was a Rockefeller endowed institution.